NC: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. I tell you, I get email after email asking me to review shows like She-Ra, or My Little Pony and so on so forth. And trust me, I'd love to, but there's just one tiny little problem: I have testicles. And as a person who possesses testicles, I didn't watch these shows growing up. So I need someone who doesn't have testicles to review these shows. More specifically a female. That is why I am starting a worldwide search for the Nostalgia Chick.
Dramatic music and a title card saying "The Nostalgia Chick Contest" followed by footage of girly shows
NC (voiceover): I'm looking for a woman who can make her own videos and comment on the Nostalgic girl movies and shows of the 80s and 90s. If you think you're funny and have great knowledge of anything Nostalgic, this is the chance for you.
Words are superimposed to underline what is said
NC (voiceover): All you'd have to do is make a video reviewing something Nostalgic as the Nostalgia Chick. What the character is like is totally up to you, and you can submit as many variations of the character as you want. Upload your video to Youtube or Revver--I suggest Revver cause you actually get paid for it, and send us a link to your video. Your video, if it's good enough, will be posted on this very site along with all the other contestants.
NC: Now there are a few rules that you have to abide by. Number 1, you HAVE to make the video longer than 8 minutes. 8 minutes is the minimum that you have to make it. Number 2, you have to be over the age of 18 to apply. Number 3, if chosen, you MUST be able to get a video to us at least every 2 weeks. If you give it to us less than that, we can't use you. 4, you must be able to speak English, this is an English speaking site, and therefore you have to speak it, I don't care if you have an accent or if you're from another nationality or something, but you must be able to speak English very well. 5, no dudes in drag. No guys dressing up like women saying "I'm the Nostalgia Chick!" No, we want women only. 6th, all submissions must be sent to us BEFORE August 25th, 2008 BEFORE midnight, American Eastern Standard Time. And that's it! If you wanna be an internet star, or you know someone who wants to be an internet star, tell them about this video, or submit your own video yourself. If there's any questions you have, just let us know and we'll fill you in. And yes, you can use copyrighted material as long as it's used for satirical purposes like what we do, you can't just show an entire movie or something like that. So, get filming, turn yourself into a star. I'm the Nostalgia Critic...are you the Nostalgia Chick?