NC: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. And I have been attacked, Pearl Harbored if you will, by a swarm brought on by the Angry Video Game Nerd. Last week, the Angry Video Game Nerd posted this video response:
AVGN: I'm the fuckin' Nerd, and there's this guy called the Nostalgia Critic. Now he's been talkin' about me an awful lot lately. So here's my big comeback to you, Nostalgia Critic. ...You suck.
He throws a pen at the screen
AVGN: Yeah, I got pens! And I'm not afraid to use 'em.
NC: Your mighty pens don't scare me boy!
AVGN: Now you might be thinkin' "Aw, is that his comeback? Is that all he's got?"
NC: Of course! Your primitive brain can't conjure up much more.
AVGN: Well no. I got more. ...You're a poopy head.
NC gasps in shock, AVGN laughs evilly (and in slow mo) and throws another pen
NC: Curse those pens.
AVGN: I really like how you deciphered my hidden meaning.
Flashback to AVGN Rant Part 2, where the words in the note are revealed
AVGN: Well, you were close, it was actually "Lick my balls, you piece of shit Nostalgia Critic."
NC: Yes, yes, forgot to carry the one.
AVGN: I am the domination of the internet!
Evil slo-mo laugh again
NC: You diabolical creampuff! Not only have you insulted my honor, but you also left an advertisement for my site at the end of your video, knowing damn well that so many people would flood to my site that it would overwhelm my video bandwidth, thus I would have to shut down the site for a couple days. You are indeed a most worthy adversary. Put your money where your mouth is Nerd! You think this job is easy? You think it's just a walk in the park to review these horrible Nostalgic Movies? IT'S NOT! And I'm gonna prove it to you. I challenge you, Angry Video Game Nerd, to review the worst Nostalgic Movie that you can find. I'll even let you make the choice. Or, maybe one of your fans can make a recommendation. Whatever you choose, you have to review this piece of horrible Nostalgic shit on your show! What's the matter Nerd, too chicken, too yellow to take on the challenge? Ha! I eat pieces of yellow for breakfast and chicken is my favorite color! ...You know what I mean! I give you two days Nerd, two days to respond to my challenge. Two days, OR WHENEVER IS MOST CONVENIENT. I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. To war Nerd, TO WAAAAAR
NC strikes a dramatic pose, then shuffles sideways off-camera in his chair while holding it, but having difficulty doing so