NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. And I have a bone to pick with one "Angry Video Game Nerd."
Footage/music from Nerd videos
NC (voiceover): At least once a week one of your fans comments on my videos saying I am very similar to you. Oh yeah, an angry critic who's obsessed with the past? Never seen one of THOSE before.
Footage of NC is added in for effect
NC: But the fact of the matter is these comparisons keep coming and coming and coming. And as both you and I know, there IS no comparison. I am by far the greater talent.
Footage of both of them, again for comparison
NC (voiceover): I mean, you may have reviewed bad videogames, but I review bad MOVIES based on bad video games. Which is far worse. You may have reviewed the third Ninja Turtles movie, but I had the courage to review all 3 in a row.
NC: P.S. Horribifuckus is still copyrighted.
NC (voiceover): And you MAY have beaten the shit out of Bugs Bunny...
NC: But that's NOTHIN'. Here's a taste of what I do, to MYSELF.
Scenes of NC going crazy from the Ninja Turtle review
NC: And if that's what I can do to me, just imagine what I could do to you. So, I say to you, Angry Video Game Nerd--IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!--keep your fans under control. You don't see MY fans leaving threatening comments all over your videos. Like they should be! So, please, leave this petty, jealous rage behind you and simply acknowledge that I'm the better man. If you accept this defeat, please respond by leaving absolutely no comment whatsoever. In fact, don't even respond to this video. In fact, act like you have a million other things going on in your life that you wouldn't even have time to WATCH this video, let alone respond to it. Do that, and I will accept your apology.
NC (voiceover): But, if there are anymore outbursts from you, Mr. Video Game Nerd...
NC: I swear to God, there. Will. Be. Words. ...Followed by...some more words. Followed by...maybe a few more words. And then, topped off with...AN ASS WHOOPIN'!
The words "Ass Whoopin'!" appear on screen
NC: I'm talking Nerd on Critic action, and I assure you it will not be pretty. It will be...very unpretty...able. I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to.
NC walks off screen, but leans in to give the "I'm watching you" gesture