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Announcer:

And now it's time for "Bum Reviews" with Chester A. Bum. Tonight's review: "The Dark Knight."


Chester:

...Oh my God... This is the...greatest movie I've ever seen in my life. I mean, Jesus.

There's this guy called Batman!

Only he's emotionally tortured and psychologically torn.

And there's a clown called the Joker!

Only he's not a very funny clown.

He is freaking crazy.

And not like, "Heh heh, that guy's crazy!"

I mean, no, he's legitimately insane.

And there's a nice woman called Rachel!

Only things don't work out for her.

It's, um, kinda hard to talk about right now.

And there's this district attorney named Harvey Dent!

And he... (Exhales and crosses chest)

So, the Joker makes a video!

Only it's not a funny video.

He is slowly torturing someone to death.

... (Exhales)

...I think I suddenly remember why I'm afraid of clowns.

I mean... Bozo is funny!

But this clown is not.

He is a psychopathic clown, with deep psychological issues, who looks like he put on his grandmother's makeup wrong.

And so, Batman tries to stop the Joker!

But so many people die in the process.

And he has to ask himself, "What does it mean to be a hero?"

And at what point do you stop being a hero?

The responsibility is just...endless.

You know, what the hell?! I thought this was going to be fun!

Na na na na na na na na, Batman!

Holy jellybeans, Batman!

Now now, old chum!

Look, it's the Joker!

(Laughs maniacally)

Let's defeat him with our sound effects!

Pow!

Bam!

Boom!

The day is safe again thanks to Batman!

But nobody is safe in this movie.

Everybody has a price to pay.

I have a price to pay.

I have an obligation to myself and to all of humanity.

And all it took was a man in a flying bat suit to convince me of that.

This movie made me question the morality of mankind forever.

(Long pause)

...I think I'm going to go home to my box and...think about the responsibility that I have to the world.

And I recommend that you do the same.

This is Chester A. Bum saying... You know what? Keep the change. (Exhales)

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