NC: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. Well, we've looked over all the finalists for the Nostalgia Chick contest, and have finally picked out our winner. Now first of all, let me thank all of you for your submissions, there's so many a-holes out there that are like "Oh, women can't be funny, they can't tell jokes!" Well you fucked 'em up the ass with this contest because there were some very, very funny videos and a lot of them made me laugh and I think they were just wonderful and I had fun watching them, so thank you for your submissions. But, enough of me yapping, let's move on to the winner.
A drumroll starts up
NC: And so, the winner of the Nostalgia Chick Contest is...
He opens an envelope and looks at the name
NC: Holy shit! It's a three way tie between That Chick With the Goggles, Marzgurl and Lindsay Ellis!
Shots of each of them celebrating
NC: Well done ladies, well done. But unfortunately there can't be 3 Nostalgia Chicks on this site, so there's only one reasonable way to settle this: Catfight!
The word Catfight in elaborate word art appears on screen, accompanied by sounds of actual cats screaming and hissing; then, mud wrestling shots
NC (voiceover): The three of you will wrestle each other in the official That Guy With the Glasses mud ring-
NC: Where you will scratch and bite at each other until the winner rises victoriously to the wet t-shirt ceremony!
Goggles: I don't think so.
NC: Oh please?
Goggles: Uh uh.
NC: Oh fine, Lindsay wins.
Lindsay (now known as NChick): Woohoo!
Goggles: What the hell?
Marzgurl: You can't do that!
NC: Oh I see, you feel ripped off cause you feel like you deserve something too, huh?
Marzgurl: Damn right!
NC: Alright, here's what we'll do. You two will battle each other in a giant bowl of jello while-
Goggles and Marzgurl (voiceover): NO!
NC: Okay, okay...why don't I just give you both your own video sections on the site?
Marzgurl: That sounds good.
Goggles: Yeah, that'll work.
NC: Alright cool. So ladies and gentlemen, welcome our three newest chicks to our team: The Nostalgia Chick, That Chick With the Goggles, and Marzchick-GURL!
The three of them celebrate again
NC: Welcome to the team ladies. Make us roar with laughter, ponder with thought, and give me 50% of all your earnings.
NC: Nothing. I'm the Nostalgia Critic.
NChick: And I'm your Nostalgia Chick.
Goggles: And I'm That Chick With the Goggles!
Marzgurl: And I'm Marzgurl!
All: We remember it so you don't have to.
NC gets up to leave, but sits back down after the credits
NC: Seriously, the jello's out of the question?